Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Mom's b-day without her

Today is my mom's birthday; her first birthday since she died. 
It is so strange; the feeling that I no longer have a mother. I can't just call her up if I have a question about what to do with the baby or tell her new things that he's doing. If only she could see Josh today. How much he's grown and how cute he is. Maybe she can see? I wish her the best birthday ever with the angels. 
Today, at this time last year was also my due date for Josh. Little did I know at the time that he'd be a week late. I was so nervous and excited and had no idea what to expect. Was is a boy or a girl? My only wish was that it would be a healthy baby. I was so filled with optimism. In my mind I was envisioning a smooth, fast delivery. I had no idea what was in store for me. I was also scared because the baby's heart beat was slow and they talked about inducing me as a result, but they promised this was nothing to worry about. They said it was because there was so little room to move because the baby filled all the space. I continued helping with renovations and laid some slate tiles. We had just moved 5 days earlier. My mom said that if he was born on this day, it would have been the best birthday present she could have hoped for. Secretly I hoped all the bending and movement of me laying tiles would have helped push the baby out:)
Well, mom where ever you are, happy birthday! 


  1. Aww. Just happen to come across your blog while looking for new blogs. I'm sure your Mom is looking down on you and your son. I hope that brings you peace of mind. Keep your chin up!

  2. I am losing my mom at this time, she has stage 4 cancer. I dread being in your shoes, but let me share this: in prayer this morning, I felt my heart swell with warm light; Mary, the Mother of Jesus was with me. She was letting me know where my mother is going; she will bring Mom to her Son.

  3. Leticia, my prayers are with you...